Category Archives: Life in a Call Center

This and That

I have two appointments today. One with my GP, the other with the ultrasound clinic to check on Cleatus’ placenta. Sgt will be home at 9:30 to come with me. My GP has not seen me since being released by my RE on December 19th. The last time I was pregnant I didn’t even bother to call her and set up an appointment because my beta’s were so crappy. When I was pregnant in the spring I asked her to send me to an OB as soon as she could because I had had trouble with abnormal cells on my cervix many years ago that resulted in a colcoscolpy and I wanted the best care I could get. She wouldn’t send me until I was at 30 weeks. I made it to 9/10 weeks. This visit I will insist on an OB sooner then 30 weeks, only because of the two miscarriages. I’m curious to see what she will do. 

I’ll update later when I get back.


Last week at work I had the customer from hell. I did a follow-up for this gentleman, applied PR credits to his account because another department had screwed up, and do you know what I got? I was yelled at, told our company was a mess etc, etc. I hear this sort of thing everyday but for some reason this jackass really got to me. I could feel my eyes start to well up with tears and my face flush. I’m not sure why this particular caller got to me the way he did, hormones maybe? I asked my supervisor for a few minutes to cool off because this guy has me so pissed. I have never had a caller get to me this way and it made me feel vulnerable.


The boys have a day off … freezing rain/sleet/snow has cancelled the buses. Excitement for them.

I grew up in a small town located in the Ottawa Valley. Snowdays were common. I remember the excitement, the thrill of being able to spend the day at home. My brother and I would sit next to the radio listening and praying with all our might that the announcer would call out our bus number. The joy felt when we did hear it was tangible.


It is de-lurking week my friends. I know there are several people that pop by here and I would love to know who you are. Leave a comment, say hi. It is de-lurking week after all.

Is that an embryo in your tummy or do you just need to poop?

Work, last week, was insane. We had 12 new agents hit the floor and I did straight floor support all week for these 12 people. Just me and one other guy. It was fun but exhausting. Sgt would pick me up at 5pm and I would nap for 30 minutes on the way home.  

Just a quick update.

Still tired, boobs still sore and still having trouble with pooping. I give up.

I bought some pants this weekend at 0ld*Navee. They had these great khaki’s on sale in the maternity section for just $19.99 and jeans for $6.97! I have already grown out of my regular jeans although I’m not sure if it’s my uterus or just the crap piling up in me.

Ultrasound tomorrow at 1pm. I will be 7w1d and the re is pretty sure we’ll be able to see some activity on the screen. I’m betting he’ll be able to see all the shit stuck in my colon.

There truly is no life like it

Sgt left a message on my cellphone last Tuesday. It went a little something like this.

“Call me. I have news.”

When ever Sgt says those three little words ‘I have news’ it can only mean a few things.

  1. He is being deployed to a wartorn country.  
  2. We are getting a posting notice.
  3. He has injured himself in some way and I need to pick him up at the infirmary.  

You have one guess as to what ‘the news’ is. Here’s a clue. He is not being deployed and I did not need to leave work early to pick him up at the infirmary. If you guessed number two I have some lovely dried prunes for you.

It looks like we will be moving to a new location this summer. No guarantees just yet, that will come sometime in March. If this pregnancy goes well and according to plan I will be selling this house, buying a new one, registering the wee soldiers at a new school, filing for unemployment and moving it all in mid-July. My due date is August 6.       


On a more upbeat note … the SLW  is no longer a thorn in my paw. She has been fired for manipulating an account that was not hers, a violation of our Privacy Policy. I did a little jig upon hearing the news. T’was a glorious day for this gal.


And when life seemed like it could not get any better … I pooped. Twice in one day. It was a beautiful moment. As promised, no details. Thank you all for your kind words and advice. It seems like both the prunes and the dried apricots did the trick. 4 of each every night before bed. I am still not regular but I will take what ever I can at this point.

Tis the Season for Goodwill Towards Men

We had our First Annual Holiday Party for work last night. One of our new hires was especially drunk before the dinner had even begun. She had to keep pulling up the top of her dress because her boobs kept threatening to fall out. Great first impression. Who the hell was responsible for hiring this girl?

After the meal Sgt had to use the Little Boys Room and when he came out he said “Someone’s in there ‘getting it on’.”

You have three guesses as to who that someone could have been.  If you guess correctly I have a crumpled shabby chic, used previously enjoyed post-it with a reminder to feed the puppy 3 cups of kibble per feeding written on it for you to win.


Other then the tiredness and occasional nausea I really don’t feel pregnant. I mentioned this to Sgt. and he thinks I’m a nutter. Why must I obsess over the little things?

Taken Down a Peg or Two

I promised you an update on SLW the other day and here it is.

When new hire’s hit the floor we always have floor support. Floor support is responsible for answering questions and guiding the new hire’s through order placing and call flow.

Wednesday I was doing floor support with SLW and her flunkie. Both annoy me immensly but I am usually so busy with the new hires that I do not need to interact with either of them very often. While helping a new agent I overheard SLW saying to another agent “I’ll be a supervisor soon, would you like to be on my team?” I caught myself before letting out a snort of disgust. I am amazed at the balls this chick has.

At 5 minutes to 5pm an agent had an escalated call and I asked SLW if she would mind taking it as I had been at work the previous night until 5:30 on an escalated call and that Sgt was waiting for me. She said should would and to have the call forwarded to the “Escalation Desk”. I asked her when this escalation desk had been set up because I had been taking escalations right at the agents phones all day. In her phone little sing-song voice she says “Oh, it’s been here all day, everyone knew about it.” I say “Obviously not EVERYONE knew about it if I have been taking calls at the agents desks.” Bitch! I was fuming. I asked my supervisor if he had known about this and he had no idea either and said to me “I guess we are not EVERYONE here huh?” Now he was pissed too.

I was still fuming when I was on my way out the door and stopped by my friend M’s desk to ask her to give me a call later. One of the supervisors, H, asked me if everything was OK and I said “No, not really. Just need to vent about my day with a co-worker.” She asked me to come back to her desk to chat for a minute. I let every frustration with SLW tumble out of my mouth, the only thing I did not share was her fucking one of the supervisors. H was great. Told me in not so many words that SLW would have a big surprise soon enough that would take all of her cockiness away and that commitment is what this company is looking for, not idle threats.

Skip forward a couple of days.

Sometime we have 4 or 5 people on as floor support but this Thursday and Friday we have had one person in this position due to higher call volumes. We needed every able body on the phones.

Friday SLW took it upon herself to be floor support even though this had already been assigned to another agent. A friend of mine, we’ll call him J, was fit to be tied when he saw this and spoke with a supervisor about it. Turns out that all week the SLW was not scheduled for floor support but had been doing it anyway.

Friday SLW was taken aside and spoken to about her behavior and told to get back on the phones.

I came back from lunch and was asked by my supervisor if I would do floor support until both he and another supervisor came back from lunch. SLW did not enjoy that at all and if looks could kill I would now be just a bloodstain on the second floor of our building.

SLW seems to think she will become the next supervisor and this is not going to happen. Someone let it slip that she has been bonking a supervisor. I can promise you that someone was not me but I do know who it was.

And I love them for it.

Are we there yet?

There was an internal job posting in work yesterday that a supervisor put on my desk for me. It is for the Human Resources Co-ordinator position that was recently vacated and the former co-ordinator is now one of the payroll specialists. This company is really big on promoting from within, it’s tough to do but possible. The supervisor that had left it on my desk thinks I am a great candidate for the job so today I applied. I would be working the reception area as well as cross training with many positions in the HR office. This job almost always leads to a position with HR whether it’s hiring, payroll, whatever. It’s almost a $4.00 an hour raise and the hours are the same. 

I spent last night prettying up my resume, putting together a “you know you’re gonna hire me” coverletter and filling out a job bid form. My supervisor and operations director do need to sign off on the job bid and although I did not think it would be an issue I still had that Negative Nelly moment of “What if they think I’m a crappy person for this job?” I needn’t have worried. My supervisor was so bloody excited about me applying I asked him if he wanted to get rid of me. He took my application to our director, she was thrilled that I had applied (seems like everyone want’s me off of this floor) and want’s to personally recommend me for the position to the head of HR. Wowsers! Now I know I will not be the only person applying and the odds of me getting it are just OK but it feels so great to be appreciated for all of the hard work I do.

Tonight at supper we sat talking about our day. It’s our family ritual. When the wee soldiers asked how my day was I told them about applying for a job within the company. My Green Eyed Boy asked “What kind of job is it mum?” and Sgt piped up “If it was a job where she needed to pee on a stick every day she’d be a shoo-in.” Jackass!

OK,  I admit I have a bit of a poas problem. I can’t help myself. I began testing on Tuesday, just 8 dpdiui. I know what you’re thinking. Just setting myself up for disappointment. I told myself it was just to see if the 0vidrel trigger was out of my system yet and it was.  Wednesday I swore I saw a faint line. So faint that I held it up a close to the bathroom light as I could just to be sure. Sgt saw nothing but he’s a blind man. I tested again Thursday, faint line. Just a shade darker but still faint. I tested again yesterday afternoon after I came home from work feeling sick. Faint line. Sgt held this one up to the light and asked for a test that had not been used so he would have a reference. He said he saw it, but I don’t believe him, he’s a lying jackass. Tested again this morning, faint line that seems to be a bit darker. Tested again this afternoon. Yup, you guessed it, faint line again. I made Sgt. stop at the Rexa11 on the way home so I could purchase a ‘brandname’ hpt to use tomorrow morning. I bought a two pack because like I said I am a bit obsessive. If you have kept count I have now used 6 hpt’s in just 4 days. It’s a good thing I bought them in bulk from Save On Tests. This is the first time I have used the cartridge tests so I am a bit leary hence the purchase of the namebrand hpt.

Tomorrow morning I will pee in my plastic cup and use both the namebrand test as well as the cartridge. Results, good or bad, will be posted right away as well as an update to SLW. It promises to be a good one.

All is not butter that comes from the cow.

Shit, 5 days without a post. You must think I am a lazy cow. I have great intentions every evening to sit and write a post but once I get my ass settled into the sofa and flick on the tube all those grand intentions disappear. I am a lazy cow. Moo.

What’s new here … lemme see ….
I am close to the half-way point of the 2ww. The dreaded 2ww. Without it we would not have hope. I am doing my best not to read into signals my body is sending out. You know the cramping, sleepiness, moodswings (which Sgt clearly enjoys). It’s a difficult time the 2ww. I wish it was over but at the same time I am not ready to hear “I’m sorry, your beta came back negative.” My thoughts throughout the day jump from “Oh for the love of all that is holy and good, this has got to be it, I had 4 beautiful follicles .” to “Just because it was the ‘perfect cycle’ means jack. Women have ‘perfect cycles’ all the time an get the shaft.” Cybil has nothing on me. I spend my free time either laying on the couch watching the idiot-box, purchasing hpt’s online or G00gling Pr0gester0ne side effects. Damn, I need a better hobby. Got any suggestions?

Work is …. well it’s work. Last Monday I applied for a mentoring/coaching position. It doesn’t pay any more then I am already making but it get’s me off of the phone for 3 weeks at a time to help new representatives. It’s something that I have done in the past and really enjoy. I was chosen for one of the three positions but alas had to turn it down because the training for it was on one of the days I had an appointment in Toronto for this cycle. One of the supervisors told me I had been chosen before I had even applied, that made me feel pretty good about myself. I have been promised by my director that I will be one of the two people in the next training phase because they want to have 5 coaches all together for our line of business. When the next training day is I haven’t the foggiest. I am just grateful to be recognized in this company, something that is hard to achieve.

Last night I went out for some good great transcendent Indian cuisine. There is this fantastic curry house in the downtown area and I could eat there every night. I went out with a co-worker M. We entertained ourselves throughout the meal with office gossip. When you work in a call center there is always good gossip to be shared. M shared with me a particularly juicy tidbit last night. The coaching/mentoring position I talked about earlier is now being sought after be a Sneaky Little Wench, who will now be referred to as SLW. Even though she is well past the deadline for applying for said position. This SLW is a crafty one. Going as far as to threaten to quit if her supervisor does not guarantee she will be promoted in the next six months. Holy mother of God, acting like a spoiled three year old on the cookie aisle holding her breath until her mother gives in and purchases the chocolate dipped snickerdoodles. It is known by a few of us that the SLW is currently making love sleeping with  fucking a supervisor in our line of business. This is extremely frowned upon by our company so they have done their best to keep it very quiet. If I am bumped from the next wave of training for this skank I promise you the shit will hit the fan. I am not above marching down to the head of HR and filing a formal complaint.

Now if you will excuse me I need to wait by the mailbox for the htp’s to arrive, see if there are any new side effects for pr0geter0ne and later have a little laydown on the couch.

How was your week?

Mr. and Mrs. Customer

Today I had the call from hell. The call that all call center agents have nightmares about and wake with a start, shiny from their own sweat. It went a little something like this.

Me: “Thank you for calling *****, my name is Anita how may I help you today?”

Mrs. Customer: “I have no idea why my balance on my latest bill is so high, can you help?”

Me: “I’d be happy to explain your account to you Mrs. Customer, let’s see what’s happening …… I see the last payment we received on you account was for $73.40 on August 8th but the balance for that month was $237.30. That left your account with a balance forward of $163.90 and when added to you new charges of $160.25 gives you a balance of $324.15 for the month of August. We did not receive any payment for that amount and it was added as a balance forward on your September statement along with you services for September that were $98.08. When we add that all up it becomes your new and current balance of $422.23 for which we have yet to receive any payment.”

Mrs. Customer: “I don’t get it, why is my balance so high?”

I repeat the above …

Mrs. Customer: “I still don’t see it, why so high? Maybe you can explain it to my husband and he’ll understand.”

Me: “Hello Mr. Customer, Mrs. Customer feels you may understand the account better. The reason your account balance is so high is because in 3 months we have only received one payment and it was for a fraction of the amount owing. You continue to have an on-going balance that seems to be snowballing. *insert above explanation here*. ”

Mr. Customer: “I don’t understand.”

Take all of the above, repeat several … no hundreds of different ways in the small hope that somewhere in Mr and Mrs. Customers minds a light will flicker on.

Mr. Customer: “I still don’t get it.”


It was, if you can believe, a 108 minute long call. This call should have taken a grand total of 4 minutes from open to close. By the end of the call I was almost in tears from the sheer frustration of it all. Thank you Letro*zole!


Why do I have a 3 cent late payment charge?

Why is it that only morons call me at work on Monday morning? Is it really that difficult to read a bill from your phone company? Do you think I mix in random numbers along with your regular long-distant calls to make an extra 24 cents? Or that I purposely round up to the 3rd decimal point on your taxes just because it’s going to personally piss you off and you will pay 0.8 cents more in GST? Monday calls seem to bring out the worst in my customers. I think it has to do with them picking up their latest bill on Friday after work and after our offices have closed for the weekend. They now have all of Saturday and Sunday to think of clever things to say to me just so I will reverse the 3 cent late payment fee they were charged because the payment was received late. Can you imagine the gall I must have … charging them for paying late! Of course all the money I am collecting from the random long distance calls, the over charge on taxes and that pesky late payment fee are secretly being collected to fund my next round of ART.

Sneeky bitch ain’t I?

– * – * – * – * – * – * – * –

The witch is on her way, I’m crampy like mad and find myself going to the washroom every 60 minutes 30 minutes to do the wipe test. Obsessed? I think not.