Category Archives: A Moment With Eeyore

A lump of coal for this lass

In keeping with the festive season I have decorated my header with a little fella waiting beside the tree. It is the most decorating I have done so far.

I have always loved getting the house ready for Christmas. I look forward to it. We have a large box filled with ornaments and each one has a story behind it. My wee soldiers look forward to bringing out each one and hearing the tale that goes with it. There is a little chicken sitting on an egg with the caption ‘Mom -to-be’ on it dated 1992. This was the year I was pregnant with my Brown-eyed Boy. There is a cozy home dated 1995, marking our first home purchase. Each of the boys has a Baby’s 1st Christmas. There has to be at least 50 of these Hall*mark ornaments to hang on our tree and trimming our tree is a full weekend event.

This year I have not had any inkling to decorate the house. I’m not in the Christmas mood. Shopping seems like a huge chore. I never feel like going out to the shops, fighting with fellow shoppers for the perfect parking spot, the perfect gift etc.  Maybe it’s because I am too tired at the end of the day, maybe it’s because we have no snow. This year we won’t even be home for Christmas day, we’ll be a Sgt’s parents home. I am thinking about putting up our little 4ft tree and letting the boys decorate it with a few of their favorite ornaments.

Is it just me or is there anyone else out there feeling a little less Christmas Cheer this year?

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BarrenAlbion has set up a holiday card exchange for fellow IF bloggers. She’s an ambitious gal and must be full of the holiday spirit. Pop on over and sign up, I did. You’ll be able to send out some cards as well as get oodles of cards from around the globe.

‘A mostly sunny day, to some, can look a lot like partly gray.’

I took my last injection at 6:45 yesterday evening. Ovi*drel to trigger the 4! follicles this cycle created.

The rx was totally different from all the others I have done before. No Clo*mid or Letro*zol to stimulate my pituitary … straight injections of Pure*gon beginning on day 3. This protocol created four lovely follicles, two on the right and two on the left, and has our Re rather excited. He has spoken to us about the risk of a multiple pregnancy because the last two donor iui’s I had that resulted in pregnancy I had just one follicle. Like I said he is rather excited.

I on the otherhand go from being extremely optimistic to overly pessimistic. My rose coloured glasses tell me it will work, it has to work because the other cycles did. I want this to work so desperately but keep telling myself that just because I have what seems like the perfect opportunity this time doesn’t mean jack. Plenty of other women have had “the perfect cycle” only to have their hopes dashes with a negative beta result.

I really don’t know if I am emotionally equip to handle a negative result. I have no other cycle to look forward to after this one. I feel desperate. Ideas … crazy ideas … pop into my head. We have two vials of Man Jam (aka the Swim Team) left. Because I have triggered ovulation we should need just one if the count is good. Maybe we could squeeze one more cycle out of me if this is a bust, maybe I could bring the vial home and do an ici later tomorrow evening, maybe I should find some stranger with a great sperm count to have sex with tomorrow. OK, maybe that last one is not an option.

Desperate.