Hurry Up n Wait

It was quite an event trying to get the results from my second beta today. I called the re’s office at 11:30 and they had not received my results. They asked me to call back around 2pm, which was perfect timing for me as my break was scheduled at that time.

At 2pm I rushed downstairs to call only to find out the results still were not in. So I called the lab to find out what was happening. The lab said the results were faxed 20 minutes earlier but by this time my break was over. Frustrated, I went back upstairs and asked my supervisor if I could pop out at 3 pm for a few minutes to call.

At 3:20 I headed back downstairs, called my nurse, C, and asked if the results had finally showed up. They did … just 5 minutes before I called. I’m not sure if the fax was queued or the lab is full of liars.

Results for 16dpdiui … a whopping 954! Almost tripled. Holy shit.

Ultrasound is scheduled for December 19th at 1pm.

Sgt. is now very concerned with the number of beans my womb may be containing.

And quite frankly so am I.

Beta results from yesterday are in …

353 14 dpdiui

Ironically that is also my house number.

One more beta tomorrow, the results from that should be available to me Thursday afternoon. For now I am cautiously optimistic.

Took some photo’s of the hpt’s this morning. What’s your opinion?

Blood has been collected. I should hear something from the RE’s office late this afternoon. Will post an update as soon as I hear anything.

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Looks like I have to wait one more day, the results are still not ready. Shit.

I promised you an update on SLW the other day and here it is.

When new hire’s hit the floor we always have floor support. Floor support is responsible for answering questions and guiding the new hire’s through order placing and call flow.

Wednesday I was doing floor support with SLW and her flunkie. Both annoy me immensly but I am usually so busy with the new hires that I do not need to interact with either of them very often. While helping a new agent I overheard SLW saying to another agent “I’ll be a supervisor soon, would you like to be on my team?” I caught myself before letting out a snort of disgust. I am amazed at the balls this chick has.

At 5 minutes to 5pm an agent had an escalated call and I asked SLW if she would mind taking it as I had been at work the previous night until 5:30 on an escalated call and that Sgt was waiting for me. She said should would and to have the call forwarded to the “Escalation Desk”. I asked her when this escalation desk had been set up because I had been taking escalations right at the agents phones all day. In her phone little sing-song voice she says “Oh, it’s been here all day, everyone knew about it.” I say “Obviously not EVERYONE knew about it if I have been taking calls at the agents desks.” Bitch! I was fuming. I asked my supervisor if he had known about this and he had no idea either and said to me “I guess we are not EVERYONE here huh?” Now he was pissed too.

I was still fuming when I was on my way out the door and stopped by my friend M’s desk to ask her to give me a call later. One of the supervisors, H, asked me if everything was OK and I said “No, not really. Just need to vent about my day with a co-worker.” She asked me to come back to her desk to chat for a minute. I let every frustration with SLW tumble out of my mouth, the only thing I did not share was her fucking one of the supervisors. H was great. Told me in not so many words that SLW would have a big surprise soon enough that would take all of her cockiness away and that commitment is what this company is looking for, not idle threats.

Skip forward a couple of days.

Sometime we have 4 or 5 people on as floor support but this Thursday and Friday we have had one person in this position due to higher call volumes. We needed every able body on the phones.

Friday SLW took it upon herself to be floor support even though this had already been assigned to another agent. A friend of mine, we’ll call him J, was fit to be tied when he saw this and spoke with a supervisor about it. Turns out that all week the SLW was not scheduled for floor support but had been doing it anyway.

Friday SLW was taken aside and spoken to about her behavior and told to get back on the phones.

I came back from lunch and was asked by my supervisor if I would do floor support until both he and another supervisor came back from lunch. SLW did not enjoy that at all and if looks could kill I would now be just a bloodstain on the second floor of our building.

SLW seems to think she will become the next supervisor and this is not going to happen. Someone let it slip that she has been bonking a supervisor. I can promise you that someone was not me but I do know who it was.

And I love them for it.

New day, new test.

I decided to use both the namebrand as well as the generic htp this morning because I am just a wee bit obsesive.

Both are positive. Two pink lines for me.

I am not yet excited. Fears of another chemical pregnancy prevent me for doing so.

Beta is scheduled for Monday morning and with any luck I should have the results that afternoon.

But for now I do have two pink lines.

There was an internal job posting in work yesterday that a supervisor put on my desk for me. It is for the Human Resources Co-ordinator position that was recently vacated and the former co-ordinator is now one of the payroll specialists. This company is really big on promoting from within, it’s tough to do but possible. The supervisor that had left it on my desk thinks I am a great candidate for the job so today I applied. I would be working the reception area as well as cross training with many positions in the HR office. This job almost always leads to a position with HR whether it’s hiring, payroll, whatever. It’s almost a $4.00 an hour raise and the hours are the same. 

I spent last night prettying up my resume, putting together a “you know you’re gonna hire me” coverletter and filling out a job bid form. My supervisor and operations director do need to sign off on the job bid and although I did not think it would be an issue I still had that Negative Nelly moment of “What if they think I’m a crappy person for this job?” I needn’t have worried. My supervisor was so bloody excited about me applying I asked him if he wanted to get rid of me. He took my application to our director, she was thrilled that I had applied (seems like everyone want’s me off of this floor) and want’s to personally recommend me for the position to the head of HR. Wowsers! Now I know I will not be the only person applying and the odds of me getting it are just OK but it feels so great to be appreciated for all of the hard work I do.

Tonight at supper we sat talking about our day. It’s our family ritual. When the wee soldiers asked how my day was I told them about applying for a job within the company. My Green Eyed Boy asked “What kind of job is it mum?” and Sgt piped up “If it was a job where she needed to pee on a stick every day she’d be a shoo-in.” Jackass!

OK,  I admit I have a bit of a poas problem. I can’t help myself. I began testing on Tuesday, just 8 dpdiui. I know what you’re thinking. Just setting myself up for disappointment. I told myself it was just to see if the 0vidrel trigger was out of my system yet and it was.  Wednesday I swore I saw a faint line. So faint that I held it up a close to the bathroom light as I could just to be sure. Sgt saw nothing but he’s a blind man. I tested again Thursday, faint line. Just a shade darker but still faint. I tested again yesterday afternoon after I came home from work feeling sick. Faint line. Sgt held this one up to the light and asked for a test that had not been used so he would have a reference. He said he saw it, but I don’t believe him, he’s a lying jackass. Tested again this morning, faint line that seems to be a bit darker. Tested again this afternoon. Yup, you guessed it, faint line again. I made Sgt. stop at the Rexa11 on the way home so I could purchase a ‘brandname’ hpt to use tomorrow morning. I bought a two pack because like I said I am a bit obsessive. If you have kept count I have now used 6 hpt’s in just 4 days. It’s a good thing I bought them in bulk from Save On Tests. This is the first time I have used the cartridge tests so I am a bit leary hence the purchase of the namebrand hpt.

Tomorrow morning I will pee in my plastic cup and use both the namebrand test as well as the cartridge. Results, good or bad, will be posted right away as well as an update to SLW. It promises to be a good one.

Shit, 5 days without a post. You must think I am a lazy cow. I have great intentions every evening to sit and write a post but once I get my ass settled into the sofa and flick on the tube all those grand intentions disappear. I am a lazy cow. Moo.

What’s new here … lemme see ….
I am close to the half-way point of the 2ww. The dreaded 2ww. Without it we would not have hope. I am doing my best not to read into signals my body is sending out. You know the cramping, sleepiness, moodswings (which Sgt clearly enjoys). It’s a difficult time the 2ww. I wish it was over but at the same time I am not ready to hear “I’m sorry, your beta came back negative.” My thoughts throughout the day jump from “Oh for the love of all that is holy and good, this has got to be it, I had 4 beautiful follicles .” to “Just because it was the ‘perfect cycle’ means jack. Women have ‘perfect cycles’ all the time an get the shaft.” Cybil has nothing on me. I spend my free time either laying on the couch watching the idiot-box, purchasing hpt’s online or G00gling Pr0gester0ne side effects. Damn, I need a better hobby. Got any suggestions?

Work is …. well it’s work. Last Monday I applied for a mentoring/coaching position. It doesn’t pay any more then I am already making but it get’s me off of the phone for 3 weeks at a time to help new representatives. It’s something that I have done in the past and really enjoy. I was chosen for one of the three positions but alas had to turn it down because the training for it was on one of the days I had an appointment in Toronto for this cycle. One of the supervisors told me I had been chosen before I had even applied, that made me feel pretty good about myself. I have been promised by my director that I will be one of the two people in the next training phase because they want to have 5 coaches all together for our line of business. When the next training day is I haven’t the foggiest. I am just grateful to be recognized in this company, something that is hard to achieve.

Last night I went out for some good great transcendent Indian cuisine. There is this fantastic curry house in the downtown area and I could eat there every night. I went out with a co-worker M. We entertained ourselves throughout the meal with office gossip. When you work in a call center there is always good gossip to be shared. M shared with me a particularly juicy tidbit last night. The coaching/mentoring position I talked about earlier is now being sought after be a Sneaky Little Wench, who will now be referred to as SLW. Even though she is well past the deadline for applying for said position. This SLW is a crafty one. Going as far as to threaten to quit if her supervisor does not guarantee she will be promoted in the next six months. Holy mother of God, acting like a spoiled three year old on the cookie aisle holding her breath until her mother gives in and purchases the chocolate dipped snickerdoodles. It is known by a few of us that the SLW is currently making love sleeping with  fucking a supervisor in our line of business. This is extremely frowned upon by our company so they have done their best to keep it very quiet. If I am bumped from the next wave of training for this skank I promise you the shit will hit the fan. I am not above marching down to the head of HR and filing a formal complaint.

Now if you will excuse me I need to wait by the mailbox for the htp’s to arrive, see if there are any new side effects for pr0geter0ne and later have a little laydown on the couch.

How was your week?

Iui was at 10:30 this morning. Re seemed pleased at the amount of mucus he had to wipe away from my cervix … not something most men get excited about. Procedure was relatively easy, some mild cramping on the way home and now my ovaries feel a bit swollen, achy. One more thing to obsess about. 

Donor (aka The Man Jam) did his part. 20M/ml with 60% motility. As I type there are 4.2 million motile swim team members rushing towards the 4 lovely eggs 11 days of injections have produced. God, I hope they are going in the right direction. Now all that is left to do is wait obsessively.

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Good news on the IF frontlines. Mrs Alli of Secondary Infertility had cancelled her cycle this month but it looks like she has gotten a pleasant surprise while taking a break. Why not stop by and offer her and Mr Alli congratulations! Oh and check out her adorable pooch Frankie while you’re there. You can almost smell the puppy breath!

I took my last injection at 6:45 yesterday evening. Ovi*drel to trigger the 4! follicles this cycle created.

The rx was totally different from all the others I have done before. No Clo*mid or Letro*zol to stimulate my pituitary … straight injections of Pure*gon beginning on day 3. This protocol created four lovely follicles, two on the right and two on the left, and has our Re rather excited. He has spoken to us about the risk of a multiple pregnancy because the last two donor iui’s I had that resulted in pregnancy I had just one follicle. Like I said he is rather excited.

I on the otherhand go from being extremely optimistic to overly pessimistic. My rose coloured glasses tell me it will work, it has to work because the other cycles did. I want this to work so desperately but keep telling myself that just because I have what seems like the perfect opportunity this time doesn’t mean jack. Plenty of other women have had “the perfect cycle” only to have their hopes dashes with a negative beta result.

I really don’t know if I am emotionally equip to handle a negative result. I have no other cycle to look forward to after this one. I feel desperate. Ideas … crazy ideas … pop into my head. We have two vials of Man Jam (aka the Swim Team) left. Because I have triggered ovulation we should need just one if the count is good. Maybe we could squeeze one more cycle out of me if this is a bust, maybe I could bring the vial home and do an ici later tomorrow evening, maybe I should find some stranger with a great sperm count to have sex with tomorrow. OK, maybe that last one is not an option.

Desperate.

Chilling winds, rain on the verge of sleet. 45 minutes of my life to be thankful and remember those who have offered up the ultimate sacrifice for our country’s freedom. Time well spent. Not one minute felt wasted.

The bugler solemnly playing The Last Post. The bagpipes and Amazing Grace. My throat aches and tears spring to my eyes every time I hear it. Today was a proud day for me as a wife, a mother. My wee soldiers on parade in their cadet uniforms with their hero, Sgt. As I said, Proud.

My friend sent me a link this morning, an article in the London Free Press about her grandparents. Makes me proud to call myself a military wife.

How did you remember today?