Thank you all for your comments on my last post. I did send out an email to the Donor Sibling Registry user basically stating that for Graemes privacy I did not feel comfortable sharing photos but would be happy to share developement milestones, medical info, etc. I also offered to send her the childhood photo of our donor if she did not already have it.
When Sgt and I started the whole diui process we had several criteria we were looking for in our donor, looks was not top of the list. We had a list of about 20 candidates. From that list we narrowed it down quickly by looking at the medical histories of each donor and his family. If the donor had any type of pet or food allergy he was crossed out. (Seasonal allergies were not an issue because I suffer from mild seasonal allergies.) If there were serious family health issues, again he was taken out.
Once we were down to about 8 donors we checked to see if there was a childhood photo. If there was none he was crossed off the list. From the 8 we were now down to 4. Our first choice had just two vials left so he was eliminated. Our second choice had 2 confirmed pregnancies and a son of his own. His photo looked very similar to Sgt as a boy and he matched all of our stats ie. height, weight, hair colour/texture, eye colour and blood type.
Unfortunately I miscarried twice while using this donor.
Our third choice had everything the first donor had except his blood type did not match either me (A+) or Sgt (O+). After a brief talk Sgt and I agreed that we planned to be open about using a donor if we had a successful pregnancy so having a different blood type* should not be an issue. We did not want to keep it a secret and have him come home from Grade 10 science class wondering why his blood type was different, who his ‘real daddy’ was and was his mama a ho.
*It was a good thing we had that frank discussion before using our donor because Graemes blood type (AB+) does not match anyone in the family.